


Secrets

by loOkMA_iTyPeLiKeDiS



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura was a rowdy little girl, Camping, Drunken Confessions, F/M, Fluff, Hidden Genius Lance, Hunk is a sugarbear, Nunvill is hooch okay? you can't convince me otherwise, Paladin Bonding, Shiro (Voltron) is Missing, Sucré - Freeform, Unrequited Crush, and he's adorable, and i love him so, delinquent!keith, onesided allurance, onesided plance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 08:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15770130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loOkMA_iTyPeLiKeDiS/pseuds/loOkMA_iTyPeLiKeDiS
Summary: A bottle of Nunvill, a roaring campfire, and the paladins are ready to spill their deepest secrets with each other.





	Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> set after shiro’s disappearance, but before the lotor stuff? Kinda AU. I was going to make this story perverted because thass my specialty and all, but I changed my mind and decided to aim for cute instead

It was no secret to any of the paladins that with the disappearance of Shiro, their team—and as a consequence their teamwork—suffered a major blow. Conversations grew stilted and everybody walked on eggshells around each other, and especially Keith who seemed on the verge of blowing up at anyone who so much as looked at him the wrong way.

They were all hurt by the fact that they’d lost their leader, and the lion switching hadn’t helped the odd tensions and vibes that had grown between them all. It was like Day 1 all over again, only this time worse because they’d had an actual taste of the fantastic feats they could achieve together and now it was snatched away from them in a cruel twist of fate.

Their new leader was sulkier than ever and avoided them more than usual, disappearing for odd stretches of the night only to return at dawn with a hoarse voice and heavy bagged, red-rimmed, exhausted eyes. Pidge suspected Keith escaped to search for Shiro all night, but she never asked or broached that certain subject. He had taken losing Shiro the hardest, and she knew what it was like to not be able to find someone important. She was still looking for her father and brother, after all. Part of her wanted to reach out, wanted to talk to Keith, but he was a loner by nature and she knew trying to share their pain might trample all over his coping mechanisms. Plus, she wasn’t in a particular state of mind to offer support either, nor did she really know how to.

As far as the paladin thing went, Pidge figured she and Hunk had the least difficulties, seeing as how they didn’t particularly have to acquaint themselves with and bond with new lions. But even their relative stability couldn’t help the dreadful lack of the strong paladin bond that had once been ever present between them all. Even Lance, who was the most open and capable of strengthening the bonds between them, was more subdued than usual, pensive and lost in his thoughts more often than not.

And as a result of all of these factors, they couldn’t form Voltron.

No matter how much they tried, it was impossible and with each passing day, they grew more anxious, incensed by their total loss of progress and concerned over how they could continue to defend the universe when they couldn’t even form the very thing they needed to carry out their mission and even get others to join the Voltron coalition and alliance.

Coran had suggested starting from scratch and opening up to each other in their new team to try to create that bond once again. Plus, they were in much need of one-on-one paladin time together to check in with each other since they’d all been pretty sombre as of late.

It was Hunk who’d come up with the idea to go camping together on an empty patch of Arusian land. Though some of them were a bit hesitant about whether this would be an appropriate method to mend the fractures in their paladin bond, they’d ultimately agreed. So with promises that he’d watch the ship as long as Hunk filled him in on juicy details, Coran had sent them off at night in their lions back to the planet with provisions and snacks and two bottles of Nunvill he swore would help facilitate the process of opening up.

They’d spoken to the Arusian king who’d given them a generous portion of forested land for their team bonding, and they’d set up their sleeping bags in a circle in the clearing and logs behind them to rest their backs against as well as create a sort of barrier. The last step was piling a bunch of dried leaves and twigs in a rock barricade in the middle and setting them on fire. Once the fire was steadily burning, they’d settled in and eaten dinner, a meal of some roasted beast and soup that Coran had cooked up with Hunk.

It was awkward at first.

 _Dreadfully_ awkward.

Keith had sulked through most of dinner, so Hunk and Lance had tried their best to fill the air with random conversation. But most of what they were talking about pertained to both of them and Earth stuff, so Allura had sat quietly listening, tending to the fire and chuckling every once in a while, but otherwise not participating. Pidge watched this all go down indifferently, quite close to giving up on this paladin bonding thing. They were a mess and the person who should have been leading them was definitely leading them _astray_.

Keith had to guide them to work together and while she understood that he was somewhat grieving, his absence as a central control figure was playing a huge role in why they couldn’t find a common thread with each other to link up and create that connection they needed.

She was tempted to leave. She loved being a paladin and helping others, but they _had_ defeated Zarkon now. Were they absolutely necessary to all be there?  It wasn’t like they could form Voltron, so maybe it wouldn’t be so much of a stretch if she asked to take a sabbatical to resume her search for Matt and her father. Plus, if she had less to worry about, she could then focus more on being a paladin instead of dividing her attentions.

“This is so fucking stupid,” Keith suddenly scoffed angrily, shattering Hunk and Lance’s conversation and causing everyone to turn to him in surprise at his outburst.

Lance scowled in annoyance. “Look, we’re trying our best to get our spirits—”

“Not you guys.” Keith gestured impatiently to their circle. “Us. _This_. Why are we acting like we don’t know how to talk to each other? We’ve fought together in several battles to the death. We merged our minds and bodies to create a giant weapon for fuck’s sake! Why are we being so awkward?”

Pidge set her bowl down in the pile they’d designated for dirty dishes.  “Because we can’t figure out our purpose anymore. Zarkon’s dead.”

And Shiro was gone.

“There’s no sense of urgency,” Allura agreed, sitting back against the log she was sharing with Lance. “With no goal to work towards, I think we’ve lost a lot of motivation. Without motivation, none of us are truly trying.”

“And you haven’t exactly been pushing us to try with your frequent absences, Keith…” Pidge added with a bit of bite.

Contrary to her expectation of him growing indignant as he would have earlier that week, Keith sighed, bringing a knee up to his chest and resting an arm on it.

“You’re right. I haven’t been very open lately. I’ve been…” he grimaced slightly, his eyes shining with emotion as he stared daggers into the red fire, “mourning, I guess. I just can’t accept that he’s…”

“We all have been, Keith,” Lance interrupted quietly, giving their new black paladin a sympathetic look from across the fire. Keith looked up and met his gaze, and Pidge’s irritation with their situation melted away when she caught the despair in his eyes, brief as it may have been. Keith had been just as lost as them, thrust in a new role he didn’t even want, but couldn’t refuse because it had been one of the last few wishes of their dead leader. “But part of being in a family like ours is that you never have to go through it alone. We’re here for you.”

Hunk nodded, reaching beside him and setting a gentle hand on Keith’s arm. “We should all be mourning together. We should all be dealing with our pain together. We should all be healing together.”

Keith looked back down at the ground, though his lips were twitching in a hint of a smile, small as it may have been. “I hope you’re not expecting me to cry or anything. I don’t do that in public.”

Allura giggled softly, and even Pidge had to crack a smile at that. The tension in the air had dissipated, and she felt all of them collectively relax their shoulders and heave a sigh of relief. This was fixable. They could make it work.

Lance beamed, clearly pleased with the turn of events. “So then, what now, _el capitán_?”

“Don’t call me that,” Keith eyed him in good-natured annoyance. “What we need to do is the same thing we did when we first tried to strengthen the bond: open up and be vulnerable with each other. Share our lives and secrets with each other.”

“What’d you have in mind?” Hunk asked, looking a little suspicious.

“Start small.” Keith pulled up the knapsack Coran had given them and took out the bottles of Nunvill. “Sharing one of our biggest kept secrets.”

Pidge rose a brow, not altogether pleased with the idea. Her biggest kept secret involved _Lance_. Revealing it would take a lot of courage she absolutely did not have. And then it snapped in her mind.

“Ohhhh, I get it.” She gestured to the bottles. “Liquid courage leads to loose lips.”

The barest hint of a grin tainted Keith’s stoic expression. “And if everyone is drunk, we’ll feel less embarrassed about revealing our secrets to each other. Best I could come up with. Anyone object?”

There were definitely some uneasy looks from Lance and Hunk—Allura quite enjoyed Nunvill, so Pidge wasn’t surprised that she was excited at the prospect—but this was the first time Keith had assumed the role of their leader without prompting and given them a unifying cause and goal. No one wanted to defy this momentous occasion over some petty discomfort.

“Can we just…” Hunk piped up awkwardly. “Can we make a pact that no matter what we learn about each other, it won’t affect the way we see each other?”

“Just how bad is your secret, Hunk?” Pidge grinned wolfishly, turning to stare at Hunk who balked under her gaze.

“No matter what I come to learn of you all, you will always be my saviours,” Allura said seriously, her eyes a bit glassy as she looked at all of them in turn. “The paladins that gave me and Coran hope for a future where we could finally achieve peace to put our fallen brethren and sisters to rest.”

Lance reached over and took her hand and gave Allura a soft, gentle smile. “If it weren’t for you, Princess, we wouldn’t have a heart for our team. We owe you our lives.”

Pidge stared at their conjoined hands, but didn’t react, keeping her expression sagely in neutral territory. She agreed with everything Lance had said to Allura, but seeing their hands clasped was doing something unpleasant to her heart.

Allura wiped a small tear from her eye. “Thank you, Lance.”

Keith nodded. “We are still the same people no matter what.”

With that decisive statement, they poured a shot’s worth of Nunvill into each of their cups and drank together. Allura let out a hearty sigh and poured herself another cup, while Lance and Keith dissolved into ragged coughs, whacking their chests as their faces turned red. Both Hunk and Pidge had taken a more prudent approach of sipping it in small increments while holding their noses so they didn’t get caught up in the pungent taste.

One shot went down, then two, then three, and so on until they’d downed the first bottle in its entirety. They’d long before started feeling the effects, laughing more loudly, talking a little more wildly, syllables slurred and eyes loopy and unfocused at times. Allura was the only one who seemed relatively unaffected, only presenting symptoms of a slight buzz while the rest of them were well in the tipsy range.

“Keef,” Lance slightly slurred, pointing his cup at him and nearly spilling the rest of the liquid in there. Pidge’s quick thinking and movement put it back upright, but her return to her sleeping bag was uncoordinated and she kicked Hunk in the arm. “You go first since you’re the new fearless leader. Plus you suggested this.”

Keith licked his lips and swallowed. “You know Iverson?”

“Yeah?”

“You know Iverson’s eye? The permanently closed one?” Keith shut one eye and made a poor attempt at a stank face that was clearly supposed to be Iverson.

Pidge snorted, taking another sip of what remained in her cup.

“Yeah.” Hunk answered, confused. “Why?”

Keith leaned forward, voice hushed in a whisper. “I did that. I confronted him after news stations blamed Shiro for Kerberos and punched him in the face when he told me he agreed it was Shiro’s fault. Then I expelled _myself_. I sure showed him!”

Lance and Hunk looked like they’d just been slapped. Allura looked pretty shocked too though she must have been confused on circumstances.

“…Y-you…?” Lance stammered. “How do you hit someone that hard?!”

“Fists of fury.” Keith puffed up in a bit of pride.

Pidge snorted. “…Somehow that’s not at all _and_ absolutely surprising.”

Don’t get her wrong though. Pidge knew somewhere in her mind, she was pretty shocked, but the Nunvill had slowed her uptake. Everyone had always wondered what had made Iverson lose an eye when all those previous pictures showed both working.

Why nobody had guessed Keith Kogane was beyond her.

“Who is Iverson?” Allura asked curiously, taking another sip of her full cup.

“This asshole commander at the Galaxy Garrison, the school that we used to go to before we ended up in space,” Hunk explained, his expression still completely rattled from Keith’s confession. “He had one eye that suddenly was scarred and couldn’t work in the middle of the year Keith was expelled. No one knew why. Well, until now.”

“He’s the one who banned me from looking into Kerberos when I snuck in a long time ago,” Pidge added as she stuck out her tongue. “I didn’t like him. Old bitch.”

Lance laughed at that.

Keith’s eyes narrowed. “He’s also the one who ousted Shiro’s illness to the media _and_ slandered Shiro’s name. Youngest, most talented, and most promising pilot of his generation! And everything about him was ruined just because those assholes wanted someone to blame for Kerberos so people wouldn’t have questions. Adam didn’t even defend Shiro’s capability to the media when I begged him to. His parents basically disowned him years ago, so who else was going to protect his reputation?”

“I’m not sure how protecting someone’s reputation correlates with _blinding someone_ ,” Pidge remarked, finishing off the rest of her cup of Nunvill and subsequently gagging when she caught the aftertaste. Toenail clippings.

“I’d seen you get in fights before, man, but I didn’t know you were the one behind Cyclops Iverson!” Lance said with wide eyes, looking simultaneously impressed, terrified, and appalled. “Isn’t that, you know, assault?”

“He called Kerberos pilot error!” Keith barked, words slightly slurred, getting a bit worked up as he hiccupped. “It was a lie! Shiro is a perfect pilot!”

No one had the heart to point out that Keith had said “is” when referencing their once present leader.

“So…” Hunk said tentatively, slightly horrified and breaking the weird tension. “You took it upon yourself to punch him in the face so hard you permanently damaged his eye?”

“ _Yes_!” Keith said with so much indignant conviction.

His answer was followed by a loud, violent burp that echoed through the air and made some of the leaves rustle. He stared at them all in shocked surprise, wide indigo eyes blinking as his face slowly flushed the colour of his uniform.

The ensuing silence was only broken when Pidge snorted behind her hand and dissolved into raucous laughter. The others stared at her, wondering how she could even find humour in what they’d learned, but that made her start laughing harder until she was clutching her stomach and leaning heavily against the log behind her to keep upright. Pidge couldn’t stand Iverson as much as Keith couldn’t—and especially after she’d _met_ Shiro and learned what he’d done for Matt and how selfless and wonderful he was—but though she didn’t agree with him getting attacked viciously like that, she couldn’t help but find Keith’s drunken rambling and indignant anger hilarious. He looked and sounded crazy.

“Okay…” Lance said, just barely hiding the hints of his own goofy smile. “No more Nunvill for Pidgey.”

“I’m sorry,” she gasped for breath, wiping her eyes with her under armour sleeve, “but damn! The look on Keith’s face when he burped!”

They all cracked up too when Keith shot her an offended look and an embarrassed ‘ _sh-shut your quiznak!_ ’. It was a while before they all stopped and started paying attention again.

“Whatever.” Keith crossed his arms in front of his chest and slouched back onto his log with a pout. His face was still red, but Pidge wondered if that was more so because he was obviously drunk. “I told you my best kept secret. Someone else go.”

“So, who’s next? Allura?” Hunk prodded encouragingly. “We could go in order of the circle?”

“Are you even drunk?” Pidge accused, pointing a finger at her. The Princess was sitting primly, her expression still way to alert even if her eyes were a bit hazy. “Take two shots, lady!”

Allura obliged with pleasure and Pidge watched with barely concealed awe as she knocked it back with ease. The other guys’ faces appeared much the same way.

“I don’t have any seriously wild stories like you guys’ on Earth, and I definitely didn’t go around punching instructors—”

“It was only _one_!”

“—and maybe you won’t be able to relate that much with mine since most of my life was spent as a pampered princess,” she finished sheepishly, blushing a bit and poking at the fire with a stick. “And I don’t want to sound pretentious.”

“You won’t.” Hunk assured her with a gentle smile. “Or even if you do, there’s no judgement here.”

“Yeah. I mean, it’s not like you permanently disabled a superior officer,” Lance drawled, accepting the shot Pidge poured him and gulping it down with a pinched look on his face.

Keith flipped him off angrily with his ring finger.

“…Well, when I was a preteen, I set my poise instructor on fire.”

Their jaws collectively hit the floor.

“And we called Keith the delinquent! You’re an arsonist!”

“No, no, it wasn’t like that! He lived, and it was an accident.” She hurried to explain, her hand movements a little sluggish and uncoordinated from the hooch. “He’d been getting ruthless with his lessons and would hit me on the hand with his stupid riding crop and would put heavy books on my head and make me stand in place with them for several varga and once put thumbtacks on the heel of the inside of my flats to force me to walk on my tiptoes to prepare for whenever I would wear heels. So I switched out his shampoo with ucluna because I thought it would turn his hair a funny colour.”

Keith frowned. “Whazzat?”

“It’s like lighter fluid,” Pidge explained, proud of herself that her Altean language lessons were really coming along, “only it ignites when any type of oxygenated molecule hits it.”

“How are you so fucking smart even when you’re drunk?” Lance marvelled at her and Pidge couldn’t help but preen a bit and giggle girlishly. Hunk turned and looked at her with a small, curious look on his face that to her boded trouble. “God, Pidge, you’re amazing.”

“As I’m sure you all can imagine, he took a shampoo and caught on fire. His whole head of hair and eyebrows were singed off and he quit that very day. Father never found out what I did, but after that, he appointed Coran as my princess lesson instructor because he was the only one I could tolerate. Last I saw of that tutor, before the war, he was still wearing that wig and he still was drawing in his eyebrows.”

“What the fuck, Allura,” Pidge said between her cackles. She thought it was absolutely fucking hilarious. “Where were you when I was forced to go to those dumb cotillion lessons with Mizz Edna?”

“I think I caused him permanent hair loss.” Allura shook her head in amusement as the rest of them started laughing hard at what she’d done.

“I can’t believe you were just as much a delinquent as Keith was,” Hunk exclaimed, shoulders shaking with his chuckles.

“It was an accident! Well, _mostly_ an accident.” She blushed and covered part of her face with a hand in embarrassment. “And I wasn’t a delinquent. Just a very rowdy child.”

“So was mine!” Keith shouted, unable to control his volume levels. “It’s not like I set out to fuck up an eye! I just hit him and next thing I knew medics were running in!”

“To be fair, you didn’t know you were Galra at the time,” Allura said, patting his outstretched leg to calm him down. “I’m sure your hits really packed a punch, and you didn’t realise.”

“Yeah! He knocked out one of James Griffin’s teeth during a fight once!” Hunk shook his head rapidly. “Scared the crap out of me! They were right next to me! You were like a feral dog, Keith!”

“Cat,” Lance argued. “Keith is definitely a cat!”

Pidge wished that she’d seen some of this stuff happen. She’d disguised herself and entered the Garrison a couple months after all the biggest drama with Kerberos and the Keith disaster had passed. She never would have thought she would actually end up meeting the prodigy delinquent of legend with the highest simulator score ever recorded by a cadet (after Shiro of course) by a humongous margin, much less become a paladin of a sentient robot with him.

What the fuck was their life?

When Hunk and Lance finally finished their animated debate on which animal Keith fit more with his behaviour (feral cat won), they all relaxed back on their sleeping bags for the next secret to unearth.

“So Lance? What’s your secret?” Keith glared at him. “And don’t you dare say anything about being a ladies’ man. No one will believe you.”

Instead of protesting, Lance rubbed at his arm nervously. “Right. Uh…”

“No judgement, Lance,” Hunk reminded him earnestly.

Lance turned and glanced at Pidge, and she tilted her head curiously. She wouldn’t have expected _Lance_ of all people to get a little shy about the secrets thing. He tended to be an open book about most things. Sometimes _too_ open. So this really was surprising.

“If you’re still nervous about this, then you clearly haven’t had enough to drink,” Pidge joked quietly, prodding his leg with the bottle.

“Right.”

Whatever his reservation had been, he seemed to have made up his mind. He gulped down a rather large mouthful, choked it down with a whimper and then shot to his feet. He was unstable and everyone yelled when he tripped over his own feet and sleeping bag and nearly landed in the fire, but he recovered and pointed towards where Blue was perched.

“I’ll be right back!” He started to stomp through the underbrush in that direction. “Needa get something.”

“You fly Red!” Keith called out.

“…I knew that!” He switched his course, disappearing in the other direction.

While they waited for his return, they filled small talk by telling Allura about some drinking games that people usually played with drinks like Nunvill. She’d sounded excited and wanted to try one and they promised after the secrets were revealed, they’d give one a try if everyone still had the energy.

Shortly after, Lance crashed back into their clearing with a fantastic grin that lit up the night sky. He had an acoustic guitar in his arms that he was cradling close to his body. Allura oohed in excitement, clapping her hands and marvelling curiously at the odd instrument she’d never seen before.

“Lance, what is that beautiful looking object!”

“This is Katerina!” he exclaimed, holding the honey amber coloured instrument up by the neck. “One of my most prized possessions.”

Pidge froze, brows lifting high on her forehead as she jerked around to stare at Lance. “ _What_?”

“What in tarnation fuck is a _Katerina_?” Keith grumbled.

“Pidge,” Hunk responded, a slow grin growing on his face as he turned to look at her. She didn’t think her face could get anymore red. Why the hell was Lance’s guitar named after her? And when the hell had Lance gotten a guitar? “Katerina is _Pidge_.”

“Yer name is Katerina? I thought yer name was Pidge?”

“Keith, you sound like a fucking redneck. No more for Keith either, kay guys?” Lance said as he sat back down on his sleeping bag, strumming the strings lightly and ignoring Keith’s indignant _‘fuck you, Lance!’_. It twanged melodically, the pleasant sound filling the air. Allura smiled eagerly, scootching closer and observing him and the instrument in awe. “So about a year ago, I started making a guitar. It was a project I wanted to do with Luis, but you know, outer space and all. I’ve slowly been collecting and making parts and putting them together. I finished her a while ago, but I wasn’t sure when would be a good time to show you all.”

“You _built_ a guitar from scratch?” Hunk looked shellshocked, eyes wide like he was seeing a whole new side of Lance he never expected. “How did you manage to hide this so well?! I didn’t know you could woodwork!”

He shrugged nonchalantly, like this was just everyday news to him. “Well, I live in Cuba, so hurricanes often cause damage. We all help each other, so I help rebuild a lot of infrastructure. I learned early on how to work with wood. When I worked on a farm one summer, all I did was basically rebuild barns and chicken coops and fences. Then I started building random things for fun.”

“What the fuck…?” Keith’s jaw dropped. “And you just made a gee-tar ‘cause you wanted to?”

“My family is really musical. On some nice summer evenings, we’ll sit in the backyard and light small bonfires and just sing and play music and spend time together.” Lance’s smile was warm, but melancholic. “I missed that part of my life, so I decided to bring a little bit of it back.”

Pidge was extremely impressed too, absolutely floored by the level of attention and detail and love he’d put into making his guitar. It was fantastically built. Pidge didn’t play any instruments, but Matt did and she’d seen what his professionally made store-bought guitar looked like. Lance’s was even more stunning.

“I thought this was a Katerina?” Allura questioned with a frown, words finally showing just a hint of her slurring. “What’s a gee-tar?”

Hunk winced. “Don’t pronounce it like Keith. I don’t know why he sounds like a Texan right now, but I’m pretty sure he’s had too much to drink.”

“Well, fuck ya too then!” Keith growled, and Hunk shifted subtly closer to Pidge who eyed Keith warily.

He was acting nutty as hell. Green told Pidge to record him so she could laugh about it later.

“Katerina is what I named her. Because she’s the colour of Pidgey’s eyes.” Lance lovingly knocked on the body of wood of the guitar with his knuckle, and Pidge felt her stomach flip. It was true that the wood finish of the guitar rendered it the same amber tones as her eyes, but he could have named it anything despite its colour, and yet, he chose her name? “A _guitar_ , my dear Princess, is an instrument of Earth. It’s played by picking or strumming and when you press your fingers on the fretboard—this part—it produces different sounds.”

“Wonderful! Will it you play it for us? Please Lance?” Allura clasped her hands together and blinked up at him, her long eyelashes fluttering just the slightest.

Lance swallowed hard, a small blush on his cheeks as he soaked up her attention. “Y-yeah. Of course. Just don’t laugh, okay? I haven’t practiced enough.”

“I would never.” She put a gentle hand on his shoulder, and Lance gave her a quick grateful smile.

They all fell quiet as he made himself comfortable, leaning back against the log and strummed a few times with his makeshift pick to tune his guitar. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Then Lance began to play the opening chords of a song, mixing finger picking technique with his careful strums. They were all entranced by the rich, melodic sound of his guitar, but it wasn’t until he started singing that their faces slackened and they lost all train of thoughts. Lance produced a voice that Pidge had never heard before, smooth and deep, rich like chocolate, and intoxicating. God, was his voice intoxicating. And _in Spanish_ no less. It was so sensual and velvety, and his singing casting a magic spell over them all, leaving them hypnotised from the intensity of the emotions poured over all his words. They didn’t understand the language, and yet, were still deeply enraptured by the song. Pidge’s hand went to her chest almost involuntarily, and sure enough, her heart was beating wildly in her chest as she watched him.

But Pidge also felt kind of sick to her stomach. It was hard to focus on Lance’s fantastic voice and the beautiful song. Because something about the way Lance was turned ever so slightly to Allura, her half-lidded, swooning eyes, the slight blush on both his and her face and the eye contact they were holding made her uneasy. It was like he was singing to Allura. And _only_ to her. Of course, the rest of them were welcome to listen, clearly, but that didn’t change the fact that it felt like a private show.

Like they were intruding on a personal moment between lovers or something.

Pidge’s nose wrinkled the slightest as he finished up the last few chords of the song, and she barely readjusted her expression in time to clap with the others when Lance stopped and turned to them to see their reaction. Don’t get her wrong, he’d been _amazing_. More amazing than she could have ever expected, but the whole thing was soured by the fact that his focus had been on Allura the whole time.

Allura grasped one hand in both of hers, bringing it close to her, her eyes a bit wet with emotion. “Lance… that was… I have no words for how beautiful that was. It was like you reached the depths of my soul or my heart something. I wish I knew the language you were singing in.”

“I-it was nothing,” he stammered, blushing hard when Keith pierced him with a teasing raised brow. He scratched the back of his head with his free hand. “Just a song my uh, my brother Marco sings to his wife sometimes.”

“Well it was absolutely lovely,” she said excitedly. “And you have the nicest voice. I would love to hear you sing to us again sometime in the future.”

Pidge’s brows furrowed slightly, and she stared at the ground, shuffling some dirt under the toe of her boot. Allura may not have understood the implication, but it was pretty obvious now that he’d been singing her a love song. Jealousy rammed into her like a truck, and she pretended to occupy herself with brushing dirt off of her sleeping bag, if only to not have to watch the two lovey doveys beside her.

“Thank you, Allura.”

Pidge pretended not to hear the hopeful tone of Lance’s voice, the sheer joy and happiness that he exuded from the compliment.

“Lance you’ve been holding out on me!” Hunk blubbered, leaning far over Pidge’s sleeping bag (and her!) to playfully swat at Lance’s leg. He laughed, playfully slapping Hunk’s arm back. “We should have totally started a band at the garrison!”

“With what time?” Lance groaned. “Those officers worked us hard every day. I remember the physical training was the worst though. And it happened right when I started my growth spurt so that coupled with growing pains made the work gruelling.”

“It _was_ technically military school.” Keith pointed out, his voice back to normal if not for his slow tongue slightly connecting words. “That’s the kind of thing you should have expected.”

“Oooh! What if we made a rock band now?!” Hunk shouted excitedly, and Pidge winced a bit at his volume. “Lance as rhythm guitar and lead vocals, I can learn to play the drums, Keith would totally work as the sullen bassist, and Allura, you’d be the keyboardist.”

“Keeb Ordist?”

“ _Keyboardist_. The player of an instrument called the keyboard,” Keith explained, pantomiming playing a piano with his fingers. “You play it by hitting down particular keys to make a sound or bunch of sounds. Some of them are used for synthetic sounds and shit like that.”

Allura nodded enthusiastically. “We had an instrument similar to that on Altea! It was called the yaglarth! I was just learning how to play before my cryosleep!”

“ _See_?” Hunk looked more and more excited about the possible project with each moment that passed. “Allura plays the keyboard. And Pidge can totally be our cute lead guitarist and backing vocalist. She’s a genius! I’m sure she could teach herself to play guitar in a day! Right, Pidge?”

Pidge’s head snapped up in surprise. She’d largely been tuning out the conversation, stuck in her own thoughts. “Huh?”

“A band. Lance as the lead singer since his voice is so sexy, and you as backup or supporting vocals.” Hunk’s dancing eyes had an alarming little sparkle to them that made Pidge narrow her eyes suspiciously. “Love songs usually always sound better when they’re a duet. As if the singers are singing to each other.”

“You sing, Pidge?” Lance turned to her in awe, looking very excited.

“ _What_?” She shifted uncomfortably on the hard bed of dirt. “Who said that?”

Or rather, who’d revealed that, because she was going to pummel them! Pidge _had_ been a classically trained singer for most of her young years before Nonna had finally stopped putting her through forced ballet, cotillions, and etiquette classes, but that wasn’t something she remembered sharing with anyone. Nor was it something she wanted to share with anyone.

“Come to think of it. I’ve heard you singing in the shower once,” Keith brought up as he tapped his chin. “Something Italian. You were singing really high-pitched notes.”

“Actually, me too.” Allura added. “Pidge has a very sweet voice. It’s cute. It would match well with Lance’s, I think.”

“ _You’ve_ been holding out on us,” Lance said to her in accusation. She still couldn’t quite meet his gaze and fiddled with the watch on her armour. “Sing something right now! I can play accompaniment.”

“How about no. Shower singing is _not_ the same thing as public singing. Besides, I’m not a singer,” she lied.

“…Fine,” Lance said hesitantly, thankfully dropping his interest for the time being. “Then I’ll just camp out in the shower next time until you come in so I can hear you.”

“You should reconsider your plan, Lance.” Keith shook his head with a faux grave frown. “You sound like a pervert.”

“Agreed.” Pidge wrinkled her nose playfully. “You say some creepy things, but this is a new low.”

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

“So what do you guys say to the band?” Hunk pushed again, bringing it back up. “It’s always been my dream to start a band!”

“It’d be fun one day. And I would like to pick the yaglarth back up.” Allura rubbed her hands together in front of the fire. “We can’t forget about Coran though. What would he be?”

“Band manager, agent, and advisor for sure,” Pidge supplied.

“…and Shiro?” Lance asked quietly.

They were quiet for a little while, an uneasy silence having fallen over the group as they stared off into the distance or on the ground or in the fire to avoid each other’s gazes. They still didn’t know what had happened to Shiro, but it did seem a little disingenuous if they left him out of their band ideas.

“My groupie.” Keith deadpanned.

It had been said with such a straight face that they almost thought he was serious— _almost_ —until they saw the slight crinkle of his eyes in a way that spelled humour.

They busted out laughing hard. It relieved the tension immediately, and though there was a slight pang of pain in Pidge’s heart that Shiro couldn’t be there to share in the joke with them, it felt as if a very tight knot between them all had suddenly been released. If Keith was cracking jokes about Shiro without seemingly wanting to punch the nearest person, that was a good sign they were healing in some ways.

“I can’t believe Keith’s got jokes!” Lance reached across the fire and poked the former red paladin in the leg with a long stick.

Keith scowled at him and slapped it away. “Hey! I’m a very funny guy.”

They started laughing again, but this time Keith pouted at them, looking offended.

“To be honest, I’d be more inclined to believe _you’d_ be Shiro’s groupie, Keith. Or bodyguard,” Pidge said with a playful smirk. “I mean, I wouldn’t put it past you to punch out some overzealous fan until their eye was fucked up if they dared touch him. Ya feel me?”

Hunk snorted and Lance gave her a fist bump for her dig.

“Oh you think you’re so clever…” he drawled, giving her a raised eyebrow, though she could tell from his relaxed posture that it was all in jest. “Alright then. Let’s hear your big secret, Pidge, so we can crack jokes about you.”

Pidge stiffened for a second. She had originally been planning to reveal that she had a major crush on Lance during her time at the garrison—she knew it would be a shock to them considering the only thing she ever seemed to show interest in was tech or finding her family—but now she needed a new plan. She was scared after seeing him interact with Allura. And though she hadn’t been planning on making it seem like she still had the crush, she didn’t want to seem like some dorky loser pining after a guy who wasn’t interested. Some secrets were best kept to herself.

She shrugged as everyone waited patiently for her to speak, instead deciding to reveal some insecurities she didn’t normally let stick in her mind long enough to affect her work.

“I know I come across as super tomboy-ish, and I am, but there’s a huge part of me that misses my dresses and long hair. It took me years to get it to that length and I had just a little bit of pride in how thick and healthy it was, the colour of it, the way it swished around my shoulders. Kinda vain, I know.” She smiled a bit, bringing her knees to her chest and resting her chin on her folded arms. “Having something to play with my fingers was also a comfort though. But that was part of my old life as Katie Holt. I miss it and wish I could go back to being Katie sometimes but I have my obligations as Pidge and can’t seem to merge the two of them without having to let go of the other.”

She glanced up to see them all watching her seriously. Even Keith had schooled his expression into something with more gravity, though he was scowling.

“What?”

“Nothing…” Keith responded in a measured tone, as if being careful not to offend her somehow. “It’s just that you come across as very self-assured most of the time. Everything you do has confidence in it. I never would have guessed you’d been struggling with thoughts like that.”

“Maybe self-assured in tech. But everything else is a mess, especially anything having to do with my personal and social life.” Like for example, her stupid unrequited crush and the fact that she had no idea how to deal with it or other people very well even after all these years. Consequence of being an isolated, mocked nerd for so many years. Pidge’s smile and chuckle came out a little bitter. “Like fun fact: I don’t think I’m beautiful or even pretty sometimes. Not that I compare myself to Allura all the time or anything, but there’s only two girls on this ship, and Allura is gorgeous, so sometimes it’s like… I can’t help but compare the two of us. We’re staunch opposites. And I know she’s considered beautiful so it’s like what am I? If she’s the tall, graceful, girly, hot model type, then that makes me frumpy weird-looking nerd, right? Like I know you guys don’t see me as that girly chick but in a way, I really do want to be seen as cute, even if I don’t normally care about it that much.”

She felt kind of bad for sobering up the atmosphere again, but it was something that she’d felt she’d needed to get off her chest. A little more than she’d wanted to reveal about this particular subject had come out and a lot more ramble-y than she wanted, but she blamed it on the Nunvill for killing her filter. To her surprise though, everyone was looking at her in confusion and some parts sadness.

“Pidge, not every dynamic in life follows that weird hot girl/nerd dichotomy we always see in movies…” Hunk supplied kindly, scooting closer to her and placing a comforting hand on her back.

“But ours does, even if you don’t want to admit it.” Pidge pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose with a snort. “Allura’s just a beautiful woman, and a princess on top of that, so I’m not surprised that people fawn over her upon sight. Me? No one would even notice me in the background. High school dynamics, amirite?”

It also didn’t help that the superhot cheerleader type had easily gained the affection of Pidge’s crush. She wrinkled her nose in annoyance at her thoughts. This wasn’t some stupid high school teen drama; why was she obsessing over this when she had better things to be concerned about?

“Are you fucking serious right now?!” Lance suddenly shouted, incensed, in disbelief. It made her and Hunk jump and their gazes snapped to him in surprise at how angry he sounded. Hunk stared at Lance with this odd, acute expression on his face. Allura and Keith even looked a little rattled. (Well, Allura did. Keith just kind of looked a little out of it). “How could you ever say that about yourself? You _are_ beautiful, Pidge!”

It completely took her off guard, and Pidge flushed immediately red, her heart pounding hard as she stared at him. “Wh-what?”

“Sure, you might not be supermodel looking like Allura or vampiric glamour pretty like Keith—”

“ _Come again_?” Keith squawked.

“—but you’re gorgeous in your own right and you have these fantastic, big, expressive eyes that can easily melt hearts and you’re this cute little short person and you have a really pretty heart shaped face and an even bigger heart that brings out your inner beauty too! And your true smile, in the rare moments you let us see it, is _breathtaking_ , Pidge! Even with those large goofy glasses, it just adds to your charm! You turned lots of heads at the Garrison! You just never noticed because you were so focused on your mission!” he rambled with slightly reddened cheeks, waving his hands around emphatically to try to get his point across and leaving Pidge a stuttering mess by the end of his rant.

“Wh-wha…? I-I uh…Y-you think…?”

Hunk nodded vehemently in agreement, and Keith blushed a little bit, though he nodded as well in time to what Lance was saying.

“Pidge, just because you don’t have a look that matches mine doesn’t mean you’re any less beautiful.” Allura’s face was distressed, sorrowful, and she shook her head, pained that Pidge would believe that about herself. “Your beauty shines through in so many different ways, but it is still just as radiant. You’re still so young too and when you grow into a woman, I don’t doubt for a tick that you will truly blossom and break hearts wherever you travel. Plus, you are undeniably the most intelligent person I have ever met. It’s hard not to be intimidated by your appeal sometimes. I can’t deny that I’ve found myself comparing to you and feeling like I’ve come up short.”

“ _What_?” Pidge shouted incredulously. “But you have insane magical abilities and can shapeshift and you’re super powerful and you can pilot and power a giant freaking spaceship castle on our own and on top of that open wormholes with your mind which completely defies all rules of science!”

“The feeling is mutual, Pidge.” Allura giggled into her fist. “I’ve never met someone pick up and master tech from pretty much every planet they’ve ever visited with just a glance. You complete calculations in your head in ticks and very accurately. You learned an entire language in less than three phoebs. And though you’re small, you are incredibly strong and can fight toe to toe with men and boys and other aliens twice your size. You’re a force to be reckoned with!”

Pidge shared a goofy smile with Allura across the fire, grateful for the kind words to appease her insecurity. She’d never had any sort of older sister figure or female friend—much less one who understood her female insecurities and could offer relatable relief—but she could see Allura really becoming that kind of person for her. They’d never really found that one thing that could connect them before, but this was a good start. Maybe after this they could try to expand their friendship more. She didn’t normally really get the chance to hang out with Allura as much but maybe it was time.

“Awww, you guys should totally have a slumber party to bond!” Hunk crooned, wiping fake tears out of his eyes. “I’ll make the snacks!”

“But really,” Keith added, clearing his throat and trying to hide his blush. “You both are great and you both have amazing qualities that we all love about you.”

“Allura is like a rose, but Pidge, you’re a _sunflower_. You both have your good points without either coinciding, so please don’t diminish your own worth,” Lance said.

“And you know that’s a true compliment because sunflowers are his favourite flower,” Hunk chirped quietly, right in her ear, as he gave Pidge a saucy wink. Pidge was starting to worry about Hunk and the way he kept responding to her regarding stuff with Lance. Did he know about her crush?

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear with a blush, emotion welling in her chest and her throat tightening the slightest bit. She’d never realised that was how they’d seen her. “Uh… thank you, you guys. Thank you so much. I appreciate the reassurance.”

“We’re not saying it to reassure you. We’re saying it because it’s true,” Lance responded back with a soft smile aimed at her.

Pidge allowed herself the briefest moment to relish in his attention, but all too soon, a chill passed over her body from the wind, and she sneezed, breaking the moment. She shivered, rubbing at her arms. It’d gotten quite a bit colder since they came out to camp, and though the fire was providing some warmth, it still was nipping at her bones.

Hunk lifted his arm and beckoned her closer. “You want to cuddle against me, Pidge? Last thing we want is for you to catch a cold.”

She nodded gratefully and sidled up next to Hunk under his blanket, and across the way, Lance did the same for Allura, making a little blanket cocoon so she could warm up next to him as well. He rested his guitar gently on the ground beside him so she could recline more easily. There was a small part of Pidge that did feel those familiar pangs of jealousy at how close Allura and Lance were—she couldn’t help it—but she pushed it away.

“Keith?” Hunk questioned, holding up his other arm. “I know you probably would rather snuggle up to Shiro, but I think I could be a worthwhile alternative.”

Keith lifted a brow, bemused. “I’m good. But thanks for the offer, big guy.”

They resettled, letting themselves warm up a bit as Keith tended to the fire to make it a little stronger so they wouldn’t freeze their buns off during the night.

“So Hunky Hunk,” Lance said with a rogue grin. “You haven’t given us anything yet. What’s your deepest, darkest secret, buddy?”

Pidge glanced up at him and was surprised to find him blushing bashfully as he scratched at his cheek.

“So you know how I was kind of a scaredy cat and nervous and never wanted to be spontaneous or try dangerous things if I could help it?”

“You’re still like that,” Pidge intoned dryly.

He nudged her with his side playfully. “My point is that I’m trying to be more courageous and brave. So sometimes I make breakfast in the kitchen naked or do my training simulations in the nude to live life on the edge.”

There was a moment when everyone just stared at Hunk slack jawed and kind of horrified while he grinned sheepishly.

“Surprise?”

And then as if a door unlocked, they all started cracking up, their laughter ringing out loudly through the air as they clutched their stomachs.

“See?! I’m not the pervert here! Hunk is!”

It was weird. As Pidge and the others laughed, she felt a heavy weight from the back of her mind lift. The slightest tendrils of the paladin bond she felt with the others tickled her mind again, like it used to before they lost Shiro. She knew the others felt it too, because when they’d all sobered up from their chuckles and giggles and guffaws, they all smiled at each other from around the circle, for the first time in a while, feeling hope that maybe they might just make it out of this okay. That they would be able to heal from what their group had suffered.

They could form Voltron again one day.

After the secrets, as promised, they introduced Allura to some drinking games that common teens played at parties, specifically Never Have I Ever, which they played using the last of their second bottle of Nunvill. It was kind of a stupid idea considering some of them were three sheets to the wind and completely out of it (read: Keith), but Allura insisted they play it the normal way. To no one’s surprise, Hunk won. Allura was a close second only because she’d missed several deca-phoebs’ worth of adventures in her formative years with her friends due to being in cryogenic sleep during the war. But _Keith_ lost by a narrow margin to Lance only because he apparently was the only one who was not a virgin.

(Which quite frankly shocked _everyone_ that their stoic emo friend actually managed to get laid in the tumult of his hectic life. In embarrassment, he refused to divulge who his partner had been though.)

As the night wound down and their drunken rowdiness settled into a calmer buzz over their bodies, they began to get sleepy, and ultimately decided to call it a night and tuck themselves into their sleeping bags, though they’d all made each other promise they’d do this again sometime. Pidge was glad they’d done this. Things still weren’t perfect and she could still see the pain lingering behind their eyes, but an important piece of the bond had definitely been repaired. Their connection had been mended.

One by one, they quieted until the only sound that was left was Lance’s gentle guitar playing. Keith conked out first, his usual sleeping scowl smoothened out and replaced by a peaceful expression. Allura fell asleep next, a smile on her face, followed closely by Hunk who softly snored. Lance remained awake, and Pidge couldn’t sleep so she stared up at the stars in the night sky, soothed by the sound of his guitar.

“And then there were two…” she muttered.

“Can’t sleep?” he asked.

Pidge shook her head then remembered that he probably couldn’t see her. “Too restless.”

“What’s on your mind?” he prodded gently.

“…Tacos.”

Lance started to laugh, then quickly stifled it when Keith grunted in his sleep and nearly stirred. “What the fuck?”

“Okay, but it’s not that crazy.” Pidge watched as a twinkling star shot slowly across the sky. That was probably Coran circling the planet to provide necessary backup if they needed it. “When Matt and I were younger, we used to sneak into my mom’s fancy liquor cabinet and try some of her vintage stuff. Super high proof, and we couldn’t exactly hold our liquor. It always made us hungry afterwards so we would make tacos.”

“My drunk food of choice is waffles.”

“You get drunk often?” she asked curiously. Lance did seem like he could be the partying type, but between school and their time in space when would he have had the chance to party?

“You don’t grow up with three older siblings—two of whom are rowdy brothers—without getting involved in their parties,” Lance said, staring off into space as he switched up his song to something slightly more upbeat in the major key. “I think I had my first beer at twelve? Marco had his college graduation party, and Luis and I stole a beer and shared it.”

“Same. My mom started letting me drink wine when I was twelve. Never invited to any parties though. We Holt siblings were major loser nerds.”

“I would have invited you,” Lance said, giving her a quick grin. “I bet you’d be a riot. Since you’re probably a lightweight and all.”

“Gee thanks.” Pidge snarked with a roll of her eyes. “Because every girl totally wants to be invited to a party as clumsy, goofy entertainment for a bunch of drunk idiots.”

“That’s the best way to scare them off early though. Otherwise they would just hit on you the entire time.”

“And what if I want to get hit on? Hmmm?” she said loftily.

He was undeterred by her ribbing and matched it to a T. “You’d let yourself get hit on by some other guy when _I_ invited you to the party? Ouch, Pidge. Your disloyalty wounds me.”

She wasn’t quite sure what to make of his comment or how to respond, considering the implication of what he’d said was that she’d be invited as his _date_. Instead, she turned over on her stomach and watched him play serenely.

“Whatcha playing now?” She rested her chin on her folded arms and got comfortable.

“Just something I’ve been working on for a little bit.”

Only Lance’s legs were in his sleeping bag and he was leaning against his log, his guitar cradled on his chest as he finger picked languidly a softer tune now that somehow brought sorrow and happiness in her heart all at once. It was a warm feeling that reminded her of the tight hugs her mother would give her. Pidge listened with her eyes closed, letting the clear, gentle sound of the guitar wash over her while she hummed an improvised tune to match the music, harmonising with the notes. Melancholy bloomed in her chest. It kind of reminded her of evenings post-supper when Matt would play his guitar while her mother would play piano and Pidge would sing to regale their father and Bae Bae with an impromptu concert.

When Lance played the last few notes, she finally opened her eyes to find him contemplating her with a strange look on his face. It was hard to track down, but if she could ascribe it to anything, it was as if he was just now seeing her for the first time or something. It made her a bit conscientious, and Pidge tucked herself further into her sleeping bag as she shifted to her side to face him properly.

“How come you never told me about the guitar?” Pidge wondered, trying to mask the slight hurt she felt that he never divulged that information about his capabilities. She’d told him about all her projects with enthusiasm and he’d always listened so attentively. At any given moment, he could have slipped in that he had that talent. “Or you know, Hunk, your best friend?”

Lance shrugged, a guilty look on his face. “I don’t know. I guess I just didn’t want it to be a distraction. It wasn’t important anyway. Not like your projects to better the castle or Hunk’s armour enhancements.”

Something about the way he said those words, looking down at his guitar dejectedly made her heart ache in her chest.

“Lance, everything you accomplish and bring to the team is important. Do you know how fascinating what you can do is? Hunk and I may be tech-y and mechanical and Allura may have her magic and Keith may be a ruthless fighter and all that shit, but we don’t have that genius musical talent you do. And here you are, sounding so amazing and playing so skilfully from a guitar you made from _scratch_. To me, no amount of robots made could ever compare to what you’ve accomplished.”

She watched his cheeks turn pink with a blush as he smiled kind of dopey. Lance rubbed the back of his neck and stared at the fire. “You mean that?”

“You have so much to offer to the team,” Pidge repeated gently, reaching out to tug slightly on his sleeping bag to get his attention again. His blue eyes were warm as he looked back at her. “You should share it with us more. I would love to hear about it. About your life in Varadero. About your family too.”

“Me too.” She rose a quizzical brow and Lance rushed to clarify. “I want to hear about your life too. We uh… we never really got to form a proper friendship at the garrison. And you always ran away from Hunk and me, but I wanted to get to know you. And now we can, and I’d like to.”

“I wanted to form a friendship with you guys too. But you know, the whole Kerberos mission was the only thing on my mind.” She’d missed a lot of opportunities because of that. In another life, she liked to think that she would have been able to become awesome friends with them in school.

“It’s understandable. You and Keith had the strongest connections to the botched mission. And you were looking for your brother and father.”

“Yeah…” She frowned and glanced at the dwindling fire, not wanting to think about how fruitless her search had been so far. She’d gotten nowhere. And each day that passed was another day that she lost some more hope, another day that she pondered whether her frantic search was all for naught. Another day that she wondered if they were already…

Her heart ached with repressed pain and her eyes prickled with unwanted emotion, and she quickly tried to steer her thoughts in another direction.

They were quiet for a very long, uneasy silence, Lance staring at her with a conflicted look on his face while Pidge tried not to let her own expression betray how much she kind of felt like crying. With a long, decisive sigh, Lance set his guitar a safe distance and snuggled further inside his sleeping bag, sliding closer to her and facing her.

“Okay, so fun fact, I kinda lied about my biggest secret,” Lance said without prelude, changing the subject. “It wasn’t the guitar thing, although that _was_ a secret.”

Pidge glanced back at Lance, intrigued by the confession. “What’s your biggest secret then?”

“…You have to promise me you won’t laugh.”

“I can’t make that promise.” She rose a brow. “If you say something I think is funny, I won’t be able to help it.”

“Then at least don’t make fun of me!”

She grinned. “I’ll compromise. But no guarantees.”

He took a deep breath as if to prepare himself.

“So when we first met—when I met Pidge Gunderson—I uh… I thought you were really cute, you know? Just the whole large goofy glasses and fluffy hair and how short you were and you had really long eyelashes and the cutest nose. You never really smiled, but one day you got a perfect score on that monster diagnostic exam we all pretty much failed and everyone was amazed at how smart you were and you looked all excited and smiled for real and it lit up your whole face.” Pidge’s eyes widened and she stared at him shocked as her heart pounded in her chest. What the hell? Was he blushing? “And then you started to express yourself more and would yell at Iverson about Kerberos and you were like Tinkerbell on steroids even though you were a dude—well, I thought you were a dude—and your eyes were really expressive and a really pretty colour. Sometimes I would catch myself staring at you and had to force myself to stop. You really made me question my sexuality. Cuz I always liked girls up until that point and I thought it was strange that I was briefly attracted to my _male_ teammate. I told Hunk once and he acted like he didn’t find that surprising, and I could never understand why. That’s why I was so shocked when you revealed you were actually a girl. Because everything suddenly made sense.”

“Wow… That’s…” Pidge swallowed hard, unable to think of a response when every part of her was alight in excitement that Lance had thought she was cute when they first met. And that had been when she believed she’d looked her worst.

But if he’d thought she was cute in the past, what did he think now?

Pidge didn’t realise she’d asked the question aloud because Lance looked a little bashful for a second.

“I mean, I… I still think you’re cute. If anything, after getting to know you better… now you’re cuter,” he finished off his last statement quietly with almost a shy smile.

“Oh,” she answered quietly, her own face matching the colour of the flames nearby them.

He left it at that, and she didn’t push for elaboration. Her heart was stuttering and butterflies danced in her stomach, but Lance did have feelings for Allura that she couldn’t forget about. No matter how sweet he was to her.

Pidge felt emboldened by the Nunvill and her drowsy sleepiness though. Lance had had the courage to reveal his actual secret. So why couldn’t she?

“You know, I lied about my secret too. Well, not lied, but that’s not the real one I wanted to say.”

“Oh yeah?” He rested his head on his elbow, giving her his full, undivided attention. “What’s your real one then?”

“I had the biggest crush on you at the garrison and it made me so mad at you. Like, I only snuck into the school to steal classified information about Kerberos and here was this goofy, lanky, super cute idiot who wouldn’t stop trying to befriend me. You were such a distraction to my mission. More than once I almost decided to join you and Hunk on pizza nights and other hang out evenings because I just wanted to be near you or something. Stupid, right?”

She half expected Lance to laugh and make jokes and tease her about having had a crush on him, complete with other barf-inducing flirty lines, but when she looked at him again, he was staring at her with his brows a bit high on his forehead, his cheeks flushed with heat.

“Y-you had a crush on me?”

“Have…” she muttered under her breath, but the word was drowned out and swallowed by the rustling of the leaves by the wind and the fire crackling nearby.

“Pidge?”

She couldn’t really figure out Lance’s expression as he searched her eyes. Pidge had expected him to act like it was not an issue at all, like it didn’t matter since he only had eyes for Allura, but his reaction was not at all what she’d thought it would be. She swallowed hard, suddenly thinking maybe it wasn’t the best idea to bring this up right now. She blamed the Nunvill.

“It’s no big deal.” She lied flippantly. “It was a short term thing anyway. You know how it is. You always get crushes on the person you deem the cutest in your general vicinity, amirite? I mean, there was that wild girl who was actually attracted to Iverson for a month, remember?”

“…I guess,” he said at length. Pidge wondered if she’d imagined the disappointed tone. Either way, Lance’s face perked up again afterwards. “You know I’m never going to stop teasing you about that crush, right?"

“We said no making fun of the other!”

“You didn’t agree to the terms, Pidge. ‘No guarantees’, remember?”

“Yeah, but I’m cute. You can’t expect me to play by the rules!”

Lance laughed, and they continued to chat about anything and everything from fun family vacations to worst childhood injuries to tormenting older brother moments to their mothers’ iron fists, no topic left untouched until they started to drift in and out of consciousness. Pauses in conversation slowly grew longer and replies more garbled as they tried to keep responding past their growing fatigue. With each blink of Pidge’s eyes, they remained shut longer as she quickly lost the battle to stay awake.

“Pidge?” he asked for a second time when she didn’t respond tangibly.

“Sorry. I’m ‘wake…” She licked her lips and snuggled further into her pillow though, her eyes remaining closed.

“Maybe it’s time to go to sleep then?” Lance questioned softly with a chuckle, his rich, melodic voice draping over her like a warm blanket.

“Mmhmm,” she responded, barely cracking open an eye. “G’night, ‘ance.”

“Goodnight… Katie…” he murmured.

The last thing she saw before she succumbed to her fatigue was Lance’s soft azure gaze, a warm smile on his lips. She wasn’t sure if she’d imagined the gentle hand brushing her hair off her cheek, but it was soothing and she let out a soft sigh as the last vestiges of her consciousness vanished.

She dreamt of gorgeous blue eyes, the smooth, dulcet tones of a beautiful song in Spanish, and an infectious grin.


End file.
